If you need to flag this entry as abusive, The essential guide to taking care of your mind and body. A minister interviewed a handful of 90-somethings about their deepest regrets, fears and lessons on aging. They may complain about their life, their job, or their relationship, but they never do anything to change their life. There are many, many fish in the sea and there is one for you. Keynote Speaker • Corporate Trainer • Happiness in the Workplace • The Advancement of Women. Happy people understand the importance of work-life balance. Unhappy people may answer every question with, “I don’t know,” or, “I don’t care.”. I'm really sorry to hear about your struggle. Finally, when someone says something nice to you, accept it with warmth and grace. A sign of an unhappy person is a constant lack of effort with everything from work, to diet, to exercise, or even basic cleaning. I have a neighbor whose yard work has been going on all summer, but is finally close to done, and becoming quite beautiful. If so, you may need to work a little harder on your happiness. If you don't share DNA or a last name with that person, then why are you still friends? Do you have a friend who you dread sharing good news with because you know he or she will find a negative spin to put on it? 1. Unhappiness is not a good feeling, so in order to avoid feeling it, many people try to stop caring. It can be difficult for someone who is unhappy to be alone, even just overnight. But that just isn’t true. You can be unhappy due to personal issues, mental illness, money, your job, and the list goes on. An insecure individual who struggles with their appearance may be more nervous about a job interview or dating. [Read: 20 unique ways to draw happiness from within yourself]. They may want to dwell alone or they don’t want others to ask how they are. [Read: Well, stretch that out into everyday life. You can beat this.’The hopelessness of depression stands with its arms crossed, blocking the door to anything better. This is not to discount humility, false or otherwise. The bottom line is, we do a lot of things in life that aren't about being happy. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! [Read: 15 steps to stop being sad and alter your state of mind]. They want to surround themselves with people so they are constantly distracted from their unhappiness. How do they respond when you say something nice to them? They are always waiting for happiness to find them. Someone who is happy, on the other hand, would be hopeful for a positive outcome when taking a chance. If they want a better job, they go and look for one. You know how after a long day you don’t have the energy to make dinner or do laundry so you plop on the sofa in your work clothes, order dinner, and just sit there until you fall asleep? Make eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and getting plenty of sleep part of what you do with your alone time. And by now, you've probably figured out the real message in this post. Not only will it make you more likely to behave the same way, but eventually, it will probably get turned on you. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights … But, even with all that effort to seem okay, unhappiness tends to sneak out in other ways. They cancel plans, avoid seeing or talking to people. The question just hung in the air between us, as if I was supposed to give some magical insight as to what she may or may not have wanted. She also said to use the restroom whenever you get the chance because you might not get another. You may even be unhappy yourself, but could be in such denial that you don’t realize it. “Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results.”- Dennis Wholey. Liked what you just read? ", Now, think to yourself, "Thanks, Valerie. Is someone in your life guaranteed to be the one to disparage whatever it is you're excited about -- your new car, your job change, your latest hair color? If you have noticed yourself or a friend drinking more than usual, say something. See the mirror image of everything they're saying, so when they come out with, "You really think that color looks good on you?" My problem is that my husband hasn't been happy for a long time, and it's a very draining thing to be married to someone who is never happy. As a … Someone prone to negativity may feel all too tempted to mirror that. #6 Lack of effort. What can vary is how often we experience happiness. [Read: How to walk away from the destructive energy of jealousy]. #11 Excessive drinking. #9 Need to stay busy. They only see the bad things that could happen, not all the wonderful ones. Picture me punching you in the nose when that negative comment comes out of your mouth. They give off a genuine and even calming vibe. To do that, learn to spot the subtle, but definitive signs of unhappiness. You may even be unhappy yourself, but could be in such denial that you don’t realize it. Being unhappy is sort of everyone's baseline. Everything from having a bad day to being clinically depressed can hide behind these actions and behaviors, so keep an eye out. Then, we hit a point where we stop and notice that we have everything we thought we wanted (or nothing we thought we wanted), and we simply are not happy. 2. Although being confident in your beliefs is usually a positive attribute, everyone knows a person who finds it virtually impossible to admit that they've done or said something wrong. #13 Weight gain or loss. But when people are upset, disappointed, or just feeling mediocre, they tend not to show it off. #12 Chronic fatigue or pain. Again, teenagers go through a lot and tend to be irritable, but as we get older we tend to be a bit better at holding back in stressful or annoying moments. Surrounding yourself with unhappy people will not get you any closer to being happy, so weed them out. It can be difficult for someone who is unhappy to be alone, even just overnight. It sounds like you are facing a big challenge - how to live with someone you've vowed to love who doesn't show that to you or, it sounds like, to anyone. [Read: How to be more affectionate and show someone you care]. How many times have you felt down yet still told everyone you were fine. If it was true, then why didn't they mortgage the house to cover your foodie trek across Italy rather than suggesting you go to law school? #5 Disconnect. You probably won’t be believed the first time you say this, but just keep saying it and believing it enough for both of you. [Read: It is sort of like a grade school bully. Someone constantly looking down on other people or is close-minded is likely unhappy. [Read: The 29 signs of insecurity and how to rise above]. Sit down with your husband. That kind of unhappiness often has spillover effects. You knew it. Even if the w… 3. You just have to be aware of them in your life or someone else’s in order to point it out and hopefully move forward. Self-esteem issues can carry into every aspect of life and spread unhappiness around. You cannot change them, but you can change how much you expose yourself to them and how you let their reactions affect you. Unhappy people can't help themselves. Happiness is not the guaranteed outcome of any particular activity, even a foodie trek across Italy. If we want to be happy, we have to actively pursue happiness, which is a good thing to do, since it's one of our inalienable rights and all. If you see some of these other signs of an unhappy person along with someone always saying that they are tired or in pain that can be another sign. Jealousy is a bad look on everyone, but very often it is not from a place of hatred or anger, it just looks that way. Romantic relationships are not at all necessary to lead a happy life. If you think a friend is in trouble, offer to listen, but always seek advice from a licensed professional. For more by Valerie Alexander, click here. Happiness is a choice, and genuinely happy people make the choice to be happy, everyday! ©2021 Verizon Media. To do that, learn to spot the subtle, but definitive signs of unhappiness. Make it your goal to have other people walk away from all of their encounters with you uplifted, not brought down. A good starting place in any pursuit of happiness is to limit your exposure to people who are not happy. #7 Fear. We humans are a complex bunch, and even with all the loving intent in the worldit can be difficult to know what to say. Sometimes you just get a little nuts. That can lead to them not wanting to speak up in a meeting or draw attention to themselves. We were all trained to say, "This old thing?" Okay, maybe I'm projecting here. #15 Always waiting. We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time. How many times have you felt down yet still told everyone you were fine. No one wants to be a burden or air their dirty laundry. But how hard is up to you. Crowded, expensive, have to share tiny spaces, flaky people, rude, inconsiderate awful drivers, traffic, sitting on freeways hours and hours, always noisy, can never get peace of mind, rich snobby people everywhere amongst poor people dieing on the street, takes hours to drive to nature, pollution, trash, the energy sucks here and it sucks your soul right out with it. We all have insecurities. You never know when you might be pleasantly surprised. Anyone can achieve that. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Although some people that are unhappy roll back on work and socializing, others try to stay as busy as possible. Think about how you were when you were 13 or so. There is a good chance you hated the world, didn’t want to talk to many other people, and just always expected the worst. But what you may not know is that happy people face challenges, just like ordinary folk, but they challenge themselves, constantly, to live the wonderful life they know they deserve; filled to the brim with laughter and a positive outlook. Part of HuffPost Wellness. Attempting to have a fair conversation with someone who thinks he's never wrong can be a source of frustration. An adult who is unhappy with their position at work or the fact that they are single might spread rumors about a coworker that is up for a promotion or complain about their happily married friend out of bitterness. We all want to help our friends and family be as happy as they can be. Someone constantly wanting more or expecting more from their life will never be happy. its still my fault if she is sloppy, if she left the water tap unopened for hours, if she doesn't get along with other people, if she studied too hard while I was in Arts, if I am happy, if she has to do any house chore, if I bring the grocery, if I drive, for having different physique and hair, for having different likes than her. Is someone in your life truly excited about something, and you find yourself on the verge of being disparaging? No one wants to be a burden or air their dirty laundry. Offer or ask for help. Chances are, it involves the words, "Thank you.". Damn, that woman was a genius. A sign of an unhappy person is a constant lack of effort with everything from work, to diet, to exercise, or even basic cleaning. They show the world their unhappiness, whether they intend to or not. Once you see it, you can move forward. A person who is mean to the waitress, the cashier, the gardener, the school crossing guard or anyone in a position with zero authority, is not happy, and you need to consider how much unhappiness like that you want in your life. All rights reserved. But someone who is unhappy already feels down, so they are in a position where the fear takes over and gets the best of them. Barring the few enlightened ones, it wouldn’t be wrong to assume and state that most of the population is not happy today. You Feel Sorry For Yourself. That if they break up with this person they will be alone forever! I'll give you the chance to practice now. Here's a tip -- start from the outside in. #3 Irritability. An adult who is unhappy with their position at work or the fact that they are single might spread rumors about a coworker that is up for a promotion or complain about their happily married friend out of bitterness. Certain personality traits or behaviors are signs of an unhappy person. So if you have a friend that is constantly out and about, they might be overcompensating. It's okay if, now and then, someone gets a little testy because they're having a bad day, or the person helping them is straining everyone's patience. Don't wait until you're "happy" to stop being mean to the waitress. 8. Here's a trick, the more negative they get, the more you fill your heart with happiness that you're not like that. Similarly to feeling indifferent, they may disconnect themselves from those around them. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for. Someone who is insecure and lacks confidence may not be entirely unhappy. What a downer, huh? Then I went home and hugged my dog. You may think that noticing when a loved one is unhappy should be relatively easy. 2. Additionally, people low in gratitude should also be chronically unhappy. My grandmother always said that you should never go out with anyone who is nice to you but mean to the waitress. Live life in a positive, cheerful, loving and happy way and trust that by doing so, all the negative people that are present in your life will be affected by your feel good energy. Unhappy People Are Mean to the Waitress. If you don’t have enough right now to be happy, it’s likely you never will. There will always be people on the planet who will want to negate your happiness. Bad things happen – illness, relationship breakups, redundancy – some of these things are undeniably going to batter your happiness hard. But when you don’t know the signs of an unhappy person, how are you supposed to help or just know when to be there? So if you have a friend that is constantly out and about, they might be overcompensating. But like most people, those feelings are often bottled up so that you can put a happy face on. #2 Angst. [Read: How to deal with the attitude of a Negative Nancy]. Everyone can be happy. #14 Judgmental. If gratitude is a trait, it means that an ingrate is likely to remain an ingrate for life. Most of the time jealously comes from a person who is unhappy with themselves. And if you know someone feeling unfulfilled with their job or home life, but isn’t doing anything to change, they are likely unhappy. One of my dreams has always been to live in Italy for a year or so to spend time writing, reading, learning Italian, soaking in a new perspective and picking up a few cooking tips. When it hit me how unhappy she must be, I just said, "I'm sorry it's not turning out like you planned. The truth about why it’s so hard to break out of old routines is simply the fact that it is a routine. [Read: The rules of life – 22 secrets to never be unhappy ever again]. Stop being mean to the waitress now, and let the happiness follow. To read more, you can visit Valerie Alexander's website, Speak Happiness, and follow Speak Happiness on Facebook and Twitter. You know them when you see them. We found some techniques that might help you forgive someone, especially someone who’ll never ... (2012). We love it" to, "Yeah, but it's still got a long way to go," or even, "I just wish it hadn't taken so long." Expect the best in them. Tell him your relationship means a lot to you and that your time together over the years means a lot to you. They don’t have control in their lives so instead of focusing on that, they put others down for being different. On the other hand, the person who is incapable of doing this is very unhappy. They don’t have control in their lives so instead of focusing on that, they put others down for being different. #10 Lack of fulfillment. Their surprising and unexpected answers offered wisdom on how to live a happy life. Look around the world. The first step to being happier is to know the signs of an unhappy person. You think this is what we wanted?". You'll be far better equipped to preserve your own happiness. The reason attributed to this is that man has become too materialistic. When the workday is over, they don't let it bleed into their evenings—not to mention weekends and vacation. Happy people have a higher number of happy memories in daily life. It is sort of like a grade school bully. Everyone remembers that one time when mom or dad accidentally said, "We just want you to be happy." Happy people uplift those around them. Well done. By not putting any meaning on things, someone who is unhappy prevents themselves from being even more disappointed. Whether you never plan on pursuing a romantic relationship or you're open to it in the future, it's important to focus on living a fulfilling life that makes you happy. Tell him you love him. Read on to learn 15 simple ways that you can start living a happier life today. Is someone in your life truly excited about something, and you find yourself on the verge of being disparaging? But, someone who is unhappy may dwell in their unhappiness. #1 Insecurity. Drinking to numb the pain of unhappiness may feel good at the moment, but in the long run, even by the next day, it does more harm than good. Unhappy People Can't Take a Compliment, This is going to be a point of great contention, I'm sure, but think about the happiest people you know. Someone constantly wanting more or expecting more from their life will never be happy. Yes, chronic pain and fatigue can be due to actual medical conditions. Dig deeper, but stay out of the hole. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. Unhappy People Try to Negate the Happiness of Others. Here are some places to start. Hi Sam. People that are happy don’t wait for good things to come along, they make them happen. ", I would have expected any range of replies, from, "Thanks. An unhappy person reflects their unhappiness onto the world and everyone around them. I am pretty smart, aren't I?". One of the biggest difference between happy and unhappy people are the habits they have. [Read: How to deal with the rude people in your life], #4 Indifference.